Ask Amy: I Moved 1,300 Miles For Him, Then This Shocker
Dear Amy:
I'm a 26-year-old woman who recently moved 1,300 miles for my boyfriend. We had been dating for two years, and I felt like we were ready for the next step. He was hesitant about me moving, but I assured him it would work out. I quit my job, sold my apartment, and left behind my family and friends to be with him.
However, a week after I moved, he broke up with me. He said he realized he wasn't ready for a long-term commitment. He said he felt "trapped" and needed to "find himself."
I am absolutely devastated. I feel like an idiot. I threw away my life for this man, and now I'm stuck in a new city with no job, no friends, and no support system. I don't know what to do.
What should I do?
Signed,
Devastated and Lost
Dear Devastated and Lost:
This is a truly heartbreaking situation. You did something incredibly brave and courageous, but unfortunately, it didn't turn out the way you hoped. The worst part is that he gave you no indication of his true feelings beforehand. You deserve to be angry and heartbroken.
Here's what you can do now:
1. Allow Yourself to Grieve:
Don't try to suppress your emotions. You deserve to be sad, angry, and confused. Give yourself time to process your feelings. Talk to friends and family, or consider seeking professional support from a therapist.
2. Focus on Yourself:
You need to prioritize your well-being. Start by finding a job and a place to live that you feel comfortable in. It's time to rebuild your life, and this time, make sure it's on your terms.
3. Don't Blame Yourself:
This is a critical step. You made a decision based on the information you had at the time. Remember, you were in love, and you believed in him. Don't let this experience define you.
4. Learn from Your Experience:
Use this experience as a learning opportunity. Next time, make sure you have open and honest conversations with your partner about expectations and commitment before making such a drastic change.
5. Remember Your Worth:
You are strong, capable, and worthy of love. This experience may feel like a setback, but it's not the end of your journey.
This is a difficult time, but you will get through this. Stay strong, and take care of yourself. You deserve happiness and fulfillment.
Sincerely,
Amy
